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Breakin’ up is harder to do than ever (Thanks, Web 2.0!)


I’m the kinda gal who prefers to just cut all bonds with a dude I don’t want to see again. It kind of makes things easier. I cut him off.

Facebook? Deleted and blocked. MySpace? Nope, don’t call me ever again. Instant messaging? Sayonara, douchenozzle. I delete his presence from all aspects of my life so that in addition to keeping him from contacting me again, I also don’t feel the temptation to contact HIM again.

He’s gone! Oh-I! Oh-I’d better learn how to face it he’s gone!

But then he’s not gone. For, you know, we have all these social networking sites. It’s not just MySpace anymore. Oh, no. There’s Facebook (which became awesome all of a sudden). There’s Stumbleupon. There’s Twitter and Digg and Technorati and all these other online communities where you can find your alleged “friends” by entering your username and password from your e-mail account of choice, and suddenly every person on your address book who has a place on said social networking site is at your disposal for the stalking.

So on a regular basis I get messages in my inbox:

DoughebagJune2007 is now following you on Twitter!

Loser Who Stood You Up has requested to add you as a friend on Facebook!

ILiveWithMyParents has now subscribed to your Stumbleupon favorites!

It’s a nuisance. And, using absolutely no scientific method whatsoever, I believe this occurrence happens to women more than men.

Simply because men:

• Don’t want to be assholes.
• Like joining new stuff as much as women do.
• Are really lazy about removing their exes from their address book.

Or maybe, they are crazy stalkers. I seriously doubt the crazy-stalker thing as much as I believe it’s an “Oops, forgot to erase you from my life” thing.

And you know, there’s only so much blocking one can do before deciding, “Aw, fuckit.” And I’m not changing my email. As Michael Bolton said in Office Space, “He’s the one who sucks.”

It’s a pain. There needs to be some kind of service – like the “Do Not Call” list, but just for people who don’t want to be contacted by exes. Enter your e-mail address and his e-mail address, and never shall you end up with the unexpected friend request or subscription from The Dude Who Will Not Fucking Leave.


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