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I saw Die Hard 2 in the theatre when I was very young and should not have been sneaking in to see R-Rated movies. It was during a church youth lock-in, and instead of watching Days of Thunder with all the other kids, a couple of friends and I decided to watch John McClane fighting off terrorists, surviving explosions, and literally getting his skin nearly ripped off by all the threats he endures and – I swear, coming out scar-free. What is this dude’s skin made of? Maybe he uses a great moisturizer.
Of all the takedown methods mentioned in the handy graphic I presented to you above, my absolute FAVORITE is missing: The stun gun. I guess because John doesn’t use it, but rather his wife, Holly, uses it to tackle hack journalist Dick Thornburg. As an ex-journalist, I have to say Mr. Thornburg would be fired under normal circumstances for all the crap he’s done in the Die Hard movies. But the important part of this movie is that Thornburg has a restraining order against Holly because she knocked out two of his teeth in the first movie. In the second, Holly and Thornburg end up on the same flight, Thornburg becomes a Dick yet again, COMPLETELY overexaggerating what’s going on in the plane, and this beautiful moment happens:
Richard Thornburg: But at least the truth, is NOT among the hostages because I, Richard Thornburg, just happen to be here. To put his life and TALENT on the line for humanity and country…[Holly enters the bathroom with a stun-gun]Richard Thornburg: …and if this should be my final broadcast…[Holly zaps him]Holly McClane: Amen to that, Dick!
That film was the last we ever saw of Dick Thornburg. The man who called female flight attendants “bimbos.” The man who deserved to get his teeth knocked out.
Anyway, in the end, John McClane is the hero, saving thousands of hostages and even getting his parking ticket torn up in the end. Lemme tell you – it was an awesome moment.
The next day my brother was sooo mad at me for sneaking in to Die Harder. And I deserved it. But it was still a kick-ass movie.
Here’s a trailer for the latest installment of the Die Hard Series, A Good Day to Die Hard. Undoubtedly, Mr. McClane’s skin will once again magically heal itself after the explosions and fights-to-the-death that await him.