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Everyone wants this dad-burn year to end

In just a couple of days, we will say goodbye to the general Suckfest that was 2008 and welcome a new year.

2009. Oh, everything’s going to be better! We will all have better jobs and money and we’ll be able to drive and shop and eat. We’ll all be healthier. We’ll all know the secrets to having perfect relationships. We’ll finally figure out how to balance our checkbooks and adequately work within our means.

We will recycle more, consume less, eat less red meat and more leafy greens.

We will have a President who will not only be much smarter than the dumbass we currently have, but will, upon being sworn into office in just a few short weeks, proceed to close Guantanamo Bay, send all the troops home, put all the unemployed to work and wave a magic wand and make all our problems go away – JUST LIKE THAT!

Yeah, seriously. Was this a shitty year or what? I’d love to meet the sumbitch who said, “This has been the best dang year of my life! I had all the money I wanted! I didn’t screw up my kids! I never had to play Beat the Bank with my checkbook!”

Well, Maybe Joel Osteen had a great year. He seems like the kind of guy who would just love on life no matter what. He’s like the real-life Ned Flanders. Always positively-dang-doodley and not really paying attention to the ills of the world.

But I digress.

Amidst all the agony this past year has brought, there was a lot of hope here too. People came together to fight for what they believed in. People helped one another, even though their resources wore thin. Toward the end of the year there was that sudden gleam of promise all around.

Now we’re just sitting. Waiting. Hoping. And counting on 2009 to be everything we expected and more.

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