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"He have Empire, Adaire here," or, Fun with Indecipherable Google Voice transcriptions

I’ve been using Google Voice for a few months now. I thought it’d be nice to have all my voice mail messages transcribed and available to access from my inbox. What an awesome organizational tool!

I believe my friends and family have command of the English language. Which is why I have been perplexed to receive messages like these from Google:

Hey island. Alright camper. And honestly, I need to do and I thought you had a while. Yeah, then hang driving home from work, so if bike, and 30 here So I think about 9:30 there that late, but anyway. Hope you’re doing well. We’ll talk to you help bye.
I club monster drop by the time whether not. I was gonna suggest that you come back with may need to do your work here. If its own computer of got internet and then the months ago. I’m down here is a mock on those that you can drop back on 18 The. Anyway, just on women, hey bye.
Brown hair. Ohh. Hello.
IS bar yet, but it is. I have a our, he have Empire, adaire here and then car a, a dude. But I don’t know if Mr. Where r and thought I’d. We’ll talk to you later. I love to. Or or emailed you or.

The last one was from my oldest brother, who called to tell me he and his wife were in Talladega. I suppose I can see how “We’re in Talladega” translates to “He have Empire, Adaire here and then car a, a dude.”

Actually, no, I can’t.

I would love to meet and shake the hand of anyone who currently uses Google Voice and is able to read messages that bear any resemblance to the accompanying transcriptions.

I’m not going to abandon Google Voice. I like that I don’t have to make a call and press a bunch of buttons to listen to my messages. It’s still very much in its infancy, and, as with any Google app, it allows for constructive feedback to allow improvement.

The good news is, if you’re a transcriptionist, Google has not yet found a way to replace you. Court reporters, assistants and medical transcriptionists can rest a little more easily.

Do you use Google Voice? What’s your experience with it?

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