Larry The Cable Guy, who grew up in Nebraska, learned how to talk with a southern accent in Florida, and has never installed cable a day in his life, is the host of a new show on the History Channel called “Only In America,” airing right after Pawn Stars on Tuesday nights.
Larry, whose real name is Daniel Lawrence Whitney, heads out to see real Americans doing real American jobs. It’s like Dirty Jobs, only it’s not as dirty and instead of the velvet-voiced Mike Rowe you get the horrible satire of Larry The Cable Guy.
This is just the latest development in the History Channel’s sojourn to becoming the most Irrelevant Network On Television. The History Channel also likes to air programs like “Decoded,” in which crazy people who got their PhDs off a Cracker Jack box like to speculate that there are special “codes” in art, architecture and the Bible that mean something totally different than what they actually do; and “Ancient Aliens,” in which Georgio Tsoukalos and his massive hair try to convince you that Hitler communicated directly with aliens, and that the biblical Noah was actually an artificial-insemination experiment at the hands of extraterrestrials.
I only wish i were making this stuff up. Anyway, back to Larry. Larry is a foul-mouthed racist who loves to throw around words like “raghead” and “queer” and pretend that he’s speaking for the “real people” of American when really he’s just dumbing himself down.
Any further criticism of Larry can be covered by my future ex-husband David Cross, who took Mr. Whitney to school over a Rolling Stone argument a couple of years ago. It’s audio-only so you can multitask while listening, and it’s well worth the 16 minutes to listen to it.