Some big fast-food news that has rocked the nation today is that McDonald’s knocked the double cheeseburger off its dollar menu and has now replaced it with the McDouble, which is allegedly the same thing only with one slice of cheese instead of two. Two friends and I texted each other this evening on the travesty, and one got to review the new sandwich. Let’s see what happens.
RUBY: Cheese costs nineteen cents now. Double cheeseburger at McDonald’s is now $1.19. McDonald’s has the McDouble on the dollar menu. Two pieces of meat and one piece of cheese. Complete crap.
BELLESOUTH: I was talking about it with the coworkers today. Travesty.
RUBY: They are terrible, too. How can you simply remove one piece of cheese and fuck a burger up that bad?
BELLESOUTH: Well, I guess I won’t have to try and remember to say “McDouble” when I’m drunk.
RUBY: McDonald’s is high food. Jack in the box is drunk food.
BELLESOUTH: We don’t have Jack In The Box. However, McD’s is open 24/7 here.
RUBY: Wow. For those times when you need nuggets at 3 in the morning.
BELLESOUTH: I have never needed nuggets at 3 but you bet your ass I have needed a double cheeseburger at 4.
Let’s see what my friend, coworker and almost daily McDonald’s patron, Tom, had to say.
BELLESOUTH: My best friend’s review of the McDouble: They are terrible, too. How can you simply remove one piece of cheese and fuck a burger up that bad?
TOM: You fuck it up by caring more about profits than customers. So which burger will you get from now on?
BELLESOUTH: Dude, I don’t know. I would say the McChicken, but it just isn’t as tasty.
TOM: I can eat the McChicken, but only if I follow it with the double cheeseburger.
BELLESOUTH: And that is what McDonald’s is counting on, my friend.