“I wish he’d put some pants on.” – My mother, on Richard Simmons
“I put that PET milk in it…” My maternal grandmother on any of her recipes
“Hello, I’m Rev. G_____ H______.” – My maternal grandfather, while handing his business card to The Rev. Jesse Jackson
“I don’t care if they’re alive or not! I’m playing with the Temptations!” – Boodle, upon landing a gig playing backup for The Temptations
“It means ‘snot!’ It means ‘snot’!” Hocks, after teaching me to say the F word and my mother asking him what the word meant
“Uhn-UUUUHHHH.” – Boodle, blowing Hocks’s cover and then using a two-hand gesture to explain what the F word meant to my mom
“Don’t let the bastards grind you down.” – My maternal grandfather to President Bill Clinton during the Impeachment hearings
