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OMG IT’S GONNA SNOW WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE


The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

It’s the same story every year. In fact, I blogged about this very same subject about a year ago.

The northerners laugh at the southerners because of how we freak out at the slightest chance of snow.

According to the weather forecasts, we’re supposed to get some snow this afternoon.

Snow and sleet likely – and as a result, the freakouts commence.

If you’re in the South, you must follow the cardinal rule:

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you’re supposed to do. (That comes from some forwarded e-mail I got some years back.)

It doesn’t even matter if you never eat milk, bread, or eggs. You could be a gluten-free, lactose-intolerant vegan. Doesn’t fucking matter. Your duty as a Southerner is to purchase as many of those ingredients as possible, because if you don’t, you will be stuck at your home and you may get hungry for an omelet.

We get laughed at by the Yankees, who just don’t understand that we can never justify spending tons of money on the equipment necessary to keep our roads clear. Also – snow tires. Who needs ’em if it may or may not snow during the year? Besides, it’s illegal to drive them for most of the year anyway.

So today, I need groceries. Who knows how the outside will look tomorrow? It may be Armageddon outside. People sliding down the street in their Hummers because they have no clue how to maneuver in half an inch of snow.

I think I’m gonna make a casserole tonight. And maybe some hot chocolate.

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