Depression sucks. I’m pretty sure any of you who have paid attention to the news in the past week are well aware of this. It can happen to many folks who have many friends and are seen as sweet, funny, entertaining, awesome – you name it.
I have depression. Usually moderate, but that depression has hit in a different way over the past two weeks. The thing about depression is that people think it usually is just this overwhelming fear of sadness – but depression can manifest itself in other ways. One of these ways is apathy toward general, everyday activities.
I call it a funk. You can call it I-don’t-give-a-cluck syndrome. You lose interest in the things that normally should bring you joy. You suddenly don’t care about deadlines, you frequently miss out on opportunities, your work productivity can completely sink. Just like that.
The greater part of the last two weeks has been spent in my bed, usually watching some gawd-awful public domain movie from the 70s on Youtube, completely ignoring everyday tasks, and sleeping. A whole lot of sleeping.
It took about a week to acknowledge that it was depression. Undoubtedly the death of Robin Williams made it that much worse for me. Often depression can be triggered by people who just don’t understand depression, think it’s all a matter of choice, that you can just jump back on that saddle and ride again.
But it’s not that way. And depression isn’t always about crying or sadness; I haven’t really felt sad this month, just apathetic, tired, unproductive. I cried for a couple of days when Williams passed away – not only because he was so beloved, but because I often understand what people who experience depression go through, and how hard it is.
But I don’t want to take a celebrity death and hijack this post with it. I just felt the need to publicly get out the word that sometimes things just aren’t perfect. Sometimes even the most mundane tasks just seem like so much to do. And sometimes this “funk” can just hit you when you are in the midst of high energy and productivity. Kind of a crash-and-burn thing.
The best thing I can recommend is to acknowledge these things, tell a few people you trust that you are experiencing it, and draw on support wherever you can. I go to therapy every month or two to help sort things out.
I am trying to crawl back into the swing of things here on the website so I can continue to be what I am first and foremost: A storyteller. Just bear with me here. Hopefully this will give me a little oomph.
Have you ever experienced The Funk of depression? What do you do to work things out?