Remember a few months ago, when Ben & Jerry stirred up a bunch of controversy because they sold a flavor called Schweddy Balls?
The group leading the protest of Schweddy Balls was One Million Moms, the SAME group that asked JC Penney to fire Ellen Degeneres as a spokesperson because (psst) she’s gay.
What was the problem? It’s just a name. It’s based on an SNL skit that aired like 15 year ago. I mean, come on.
If they’re gonna try to take away our ice cream and our department stores, what could be next?
Well, if it’s controversial AND potentially tasty, I have to try it.
Sadly, I spent several months scanning the frozen dessert section of every grocery store I could find, only to find Cherry Garcia, Chunky Monkey, Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream… but sadly, no Schweddy Balls.
I had just conceded to the notion that I would never be able to sample these balls,
until a couple of months ago when I was walking through the Walmart freezer section and there it was in all its glory.
I was ecstatic. I started frantically snapping photos! Tweeting! Facebooking! Texting! “OMG INTERNET LOOK WHAT I FOUND!”
Friends cheered me on and demanded that I thoroughly review this product and share my experience. And a lot of friends probably ignored it or didn’t even see it.
So, I took it home and tried it out.
Schweddy Balls is a vanilla ice cream with caramel swirl, chocolate-covered malted milk balls and just enough rum for it to be sold in a dry-county grocery store.
The specs of chocolate and caramel seen through the top of the untouched ice cream.
This was a dessert for destiny! So I started scooping, when mom chimed in and demanded to sample it.
Anyone who is eager to be my guinea pig for a just-for-the-heckuvit review gets my full attention.
Time to get the schmancy ice cream parlor glasses!
I served mom two healthy scoops.
Mom sampled it.
She liked it. I scooped mine on a warm piece of cherry pie (c’mon, this is a family show) and it was deLIGHTful.
I haven’t seen Schweddy Balls in my grocer’s freezer lately, and I believe it was a limited-time ice cream. I’m glad I got to take part in enjoying Schweddy Balls.
And to the one million moms – all 25,462 of you – as Alec Baldwin once said, “Go fudge yourself.”