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Who says women can’t pee standing up?

I decided I wanted to pee on my neighbors last night.

This happened at about 2:15 a.m., when I heard loud, incessant booming coming from my douchebag neighbors’ apartment. It was much too loud for 2 a.m.

So I sent a buddy a text. “I want to pee on the neighbors.” Knowing that I’m a woman, he responded with, “How would you go about doing that?”

“Well, crap,” I thought (no pun intended). I knew there were objects such as pee-shooters, but whomever made the patented Pee Shooter is long since gone.

So through the magic of google, I found a product that takes away a huge chunk of that ol’ penis envy: The P-Mate.

Here’s a commercial for it. You gotta watch this vid. It will totally make you want one.

There are so many times when I wish I’d had one of these. Like when I was at Mardi Gras and men and women alike were running out of the port-a-johns, screaming, “DON’T GO IN THERE! DON’T! DON’T DO IT!!!!!!”

I am totally going to buy some for the next time my neighbors decide to turn up their bass. (In case my landlord, law enforcement or neighbors end up reading this – just kidding! I’m totally gonna just use it in the woods. For real, yo.)

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  • Tisha October 27, 2008, 5:11 am

    I’ll take 12 boxes!

  • Bellesouth October 27, 2008, 5:12 am

    Now, that is what I am talkin’ about.


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