This happened at about 2:15 a.m., when I heard loud, incessant booming coming from my douchebag neighbors’ apartment. It was much too loud for 2 a.m.
So I sent a buddy a text. “I want to pee on the neighbors.” Knowing that I’m a woman, he responded with, “How would you go about doing that?”
“Well, crap,” I thought (no pun intended). I knew there were objects such as pee-shooters, but whomever made the patented Pee Shooter is long since gone.
So through the magic of google, I found a product that takes away a huge chunk of that ol’ penis envy: The P-Mate.
Here’s a commercial for it. You gotta watch this vid. It will totally make you want one.
There are so many times when I wish I’d had one of these. Like when I was at Mardi Gras and men and women alike were running out of the port-a-johns, screaming, “DON’T GO IN THERE! DON’T! DON’T DO IT!!!!!!”
I am totally going to buy some for the next time my neighbors decide to turn up their bass. (In case my landlord, law enforcement or neighbors end up reading this – just kidding! I’m totally gonna just use it in the woods. For real, yo.)