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Why Ghosts N Goblins is the hardest video game ever. Language NSFW.

Disclaimer: I apologize for the number of expletives in this post, but when you play a game like Ghosts N Goblins, it warrants a level of cursing that would make a sailor blush.

So one Christmas break the Bellesouth household rented a game called Ghosts N’ Goblins for the NES (which we always called a “Nintendo.” When did you have to call it the NES? What stupid crap is that?)

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Anyway, It was the hardest fucking game ever. And after a week of playing it, we never fucking beat the goddamn thing.You’d be chased by these fuckers from all directions. You didn’t get hearts or mushrooms to “power up.” You didn’t get power points. You just took this shit like a bitch.

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One time, when someone in the Bellesouth household was getting his ass beaten by these giant fuckfaces who looked like Mr. Clean, he squealed out the most beautiful exchange of expletives I believe I have ever heard:

“You son of a fucking bitch! I fucked your mother! I guess I’ll call you son!”

And it’s a phrase we remember even yet today.

These are not the fuckfaces, but might as well be.

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For years, we thought we were just inferior at this game. The story of the ill-fated, impossible-to-beat E.T. for the Atari was supposed to guarantee that such games would never make it back to the shelves.

But then I was vilified. The Irate Gamer, who takes the time to go over the best and worst video games of our youth, wrote a review of it. If y’all remember this game, y’all gotta watch this shit.

He calls it one of the top 5 hardest games ever. Damn. So true. F*cking Ghosts N Goblins.

Just when you thought it was dead, the game is now available to download in the Wii shop. GRRRRRR.

 

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